At the first KCON in California, a girl’s picture was spread on Tumblr because she switched between using a wheelchair and standing up throughout the convention. You guys tormented her and claimed she was ‘faking it’ because she wasn’t constantly sitting in her wheelchair.
WELL MY NAME’S HONEY, I HAVE EHLERS-DANLOS SYNDROME, AND I’M HERE TO TELL YOU HOW DISABILITIES ACTUALLY WORK, PARTICULARLY THE INVISIBLE KIND!
So first and foremost, you can’t tell if someone’s disabled just by looking at them or their actions.
If you see someone ‘normal’ looking sitting in a section reserved for the disabled, they ARE in fact disabled! Their disability probably isn’t obvious, but it’s still there and is causing them significant issues, to the point where a reserved seat or line might be vital for them to make it through the night. Don’t try to take that from them, it’s not okay!
Medical conditions aren’t always predictable, so neither are our needs.
Going back to KCON, the girl wasn’t using her wheelchair consistently. That’s actually very normal for people with disabilities! Different situations require different tools; walking around a sweaty, crowded convention or concert, a person may choose to make their day easier by using a wheelchair or walker. It saves time and energy, and prevents major injuries. But when looking at a raised booth or trying to see above a crowd, they may feel comfortable standing up for any length of time. If you make them feel like they can’t adjust for their personal comfort, you’re essentially trying to exclude them, whether you realize it or not.
Call out culture is toxic for those with invisible disabilities or illnesses.
I get it. There are actual assholes in the world, and you don’t want them thinking it’s okay to use services for the disabled if they don’t actually need them. But who are you to make that call? More often than not, vigilante justice is a disservice to people with invisible illnesses because people assume we’re totally healthy and are just being assholes. We get glared out, scolded, and even forcefully removed from places that were built for us because we don’t match society’s definition of ‘disabled.’ Trust me, it’s better to let a dozen people abuse the system than to keep even one person from getting what they need.